2015 has seen a lot of changes. Not just on my blog or in the world in general but with me. I am a completely different person to who I was at the start of the year and I thought it would be interesting to explore these changes.
The start of the year wasn’t the best for me. I was in a crappy state in my life because school had just started to get harder and my friendships began to deteriorate. I am absolutely terrible at friendships. I can never keep up a friendship for that long because I’m just a terrible friend and within the first three months of 2015, almost all of my friendships fell apart. I felt completely alone and I was scared so I put more effort into my blog and I read a lot more and I completely loved it. I escaped from reality for a little bit and I got to put myself into this fake world I had created in my head in which everything was alright.
But then I decided screw everyone else, I’m not going to hide away. I became more involved in every day life. I talked to people that I’d never talked to before both in person and online. I even decided to go to a college that is far away from where I live so that I’d have to travel on my own. I wanted a new start. A way to get rid of all the bad stuff hanging over my head at the current school so I chose a college that nobody else from my school went to.
I somehow got through my GCSEs because I worked a lot harder than I had ever done before. I was never a bad student but I was slightly lazier but since I had the time, I made myself revise and the love I got from everyone on Twitter helped push my through.
I no longer felt alone later on in the year. I had all these people on Twitter who cared and who I could talk to and be friends with. I met up with people and pushed myself out of my comfort zone. For the first time, I went to an event all alone with no existing friends there. I went to London without family and ended up on the train journey to London all by myself. I was more confident and I was doing well.
I went to my new college and became even more social. I purposely didn’t take a book with me to college for the first few weeks and made myself talk to a range of different people and I have quite a few friends at college now who are different to any friends that I’d ever had before. I was more independent, travelling to college by myself and taking control of my own studies. I’m not known as the person who reads because I make myself talk to people at college instead of sitting in the background reading and as scary as it was at first, it’s been really enriching.
So here I am at the end of 2016, a more confident person who is willing to go out by herself now and doesn’t let people walk all over her. I’m fed up of people treating me like shit so I’m not letting them anymore. I am a completely different Sofia compared to the Sofia that was writing on this blog a year ago and I will be different next year but I’m improving. I’m not becoming worse. I’m becoming a better person and I love that.